There was this girl I was chasing; this pretty girl during my “guy” days (still a guy though, just slowing down on certain things you know) and her dad was always keeping an eye on me any time i went to the house. I was looking for ways to impress him and i think he noticed too and he sat me down one day and said “you’re trying to impress me right? Here is what to do to impress your girlfriend’s father”
In my head i was like “whoa, what is going on here? Is old school teaching new school tricks?”. But he did school me real good. He started by saying;
1. Dress properly (you do dress well though) . My jeans don’t sag and neither should yours. I don’t want to see your underwear (If I want to I’d take you to the pool). Someone went to a lot of trouble to design your baseball cap to keep the sun out of your eyes, turn it around and let the visor (Looked in the dictionary for that word after her left…lol) do its job. Just dress in a similar manner to how your girlfriend’s father dresses on his day off, it doesn’t need to be fancy my boy!
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2. Talk to me when you come over, she sleeps under my roof you know (I was always trying to avoid him). Ask about the stuff I’ve collected in my house (he had all these antiques in the living room, kinda like a modern shrine), take an interest. Be polite, answer questions, try to engage me on current affairs. I only need a couple minutes of your time.
3. Be nice to my daughter (I’m always nice to all my girls, they can attest to that). She is going to talk about you when you’re not around (That i believe because she was a talker). Treat her in such a way that when she does I’ll be impressed.
4. Be nice to her siblings, especially younger ones. My daughter’s younger siblings look at you as a sort of minor celebrity (which i was to the last born, he was a Manchester United fan as well so i really liked him and i did his homework for him, so i was a celeb to him) when you come over. You don’t have to do anything special, but talk to them for a second, make them feel important (Junior was like a kid brother to me, oh he was a KitKat lover like me).
5. Share your goals with me. Are you thinking about furthering your education? (We always argued about that) Try the military? (He was always on my neck, “This your height and military will be very nice”) All fine goals, but if you want to be a world champion video gamer you might want to skip this one (He hated it when i played games with his last born).
6. Don’t help my daughter break my rules. If I tell her she can’t go somewhere, don’t take her. Don’t put her in danger by giving her drugs or alcohol (His daughter was a Tequila lover, but I dare not say that to him), even if it’s her idea. Heck, even if she supplies them, refuse to participate (Refuse a shot of Tequila from your daughter? Sir World War 3 will happen).
He concluded saying “You don’t need to be perfect. I used to date someone’s daughter too (We laughed so hard here), just do your best and I’ll help by giving you a little grace and a lot of second chances.
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So the old man passed away (which was very sad) and me and his daughter are no more but we’re good friends. We check up on each other once a while.