The “I’m done” moment I am thinking of wasn’t my last relationship but is was my marriage. The ex has made quite a living hell out of the lives of her daughter and mine at the moment and I think it stems from her idea that I am a cheating bastard who should be stoned to death. While cheating is not a good thing to do, it doesn’t mean that a person who cheats is undeserving of being treated like a human.
Let me explain a little more for those that are still disagreeing with me because they had a lovely life before the discovered their spouse was they village whore. There are many instances where cheating indicates a lot of other personality traits that are abhorrent.
Lying, deception, manipulation and inconsideration are a few traits that a cheater can be guilty of on a daily basis. Are there any cheaters who felt that cheating would be the last thing they could think of to finally end a relationship?
The first time I tried to break up with my ex was shortly after we started dating. I remember because she said, “you’ll regret this,” after we thought it was over. We got back together a week later.
The second time was after we had eloped 6 months into the relationship. She had told her parents we were married but I hadn’t told mine yet. As I tried to end things she insisted that I tell my parents we were married. I knew as well as she did that my dad would be very upset about this news. His last words to me were, “Get the fuck out of here,” and three months later he had died of natural causes.
Prior to the third breakup attempt we got pregnant with our daughter. Eight months into the pregnancy my brother committed suicide. With so much life and death going on I was a mess. I came home one night two months after his suicide and sought the comfort of my bed. I had been drinking but wasn’t drunk. My pregnant wife smelt the booze and asked me, “When are you going to get over it.” I was taken back at the callousness of her question and in an instant my mind was made up. I was over it. That was my, “I’m done,” moment. I was over her.
Shortly after that night the third breakup attempt had come. I was coming home from work to find my cloths and things thrown out on the lawn. Classic display of belittlement and when I hadn’t done anything to rate that kind of thing I was pissed. Instead of marching my things back into the house, I packed them into my truck and drove to my mother’s house and moved in. We stayed separated for a year.
During the separation I “cheated” on her. Did I lie and manipulate her and other women time after time to live a double life of deceit? No. Did I come home after sleeping with someone else and make love to my wife? No. Did I think that we were finally over and done with? Yes.
She finds out about what happened and went crazy. The guilt was weighing me down. I brought up the comment she made after my brother’s death and the only thing she ever said about it still to this day is that she doesn’t remember saying it. How convenient.
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Since my “Im done,” moment, the ex told everyone I know that I was bad in bed and a cheater. We divorced. She pursued and married my ex best friend I served in the military with. He hates cheaters so instead of trying to co-parent with me he just secretly hated me and never called or texted once since moving here. After 10 years of relative peace I wanted to adjust the child support and she was furious. Now I have a bogus DV charge, my daughter started calling me Sam, I haven’t seen my kid in going on 2 years and so much more has happened that will never be explained has gone on.
I’m done. I’m fucking done.