Types Of Love Languages – Love is intentional. It is not that butterflies in your belly feeling. It is committment to always INTENTIONALLY speak your partner’s love language. It takes work and planning, sometimes its stressful or stupid because your own language is different. But you do it regardless.
There are five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.
We are unique as individuals and have different needs. This also applies to love. A partner whose love language is words of affirmation would appreciate your gifts, but not as much as they’ll appreciate and love getting affirmations from you.
A person might like one or a combination of two or more.
For a partner who prefers acts of service. Just staying in the kitchen with her while she cooks or doing something as making him coffee while he’s trying to work late in bed would mean more than buying her the latest iPhone or gifting him a wrist watch.
A partner who prefers physical intimacy will stay with a good for nothing partner who can give her intense penising and brings nothing else to the table. She’ll work and fund his lifestyle and pick him over you, a CEO who’s hardly ever at home to lay pipe to help release oxytocin.
You know what’s the best part. It’s not hard to find either. Just takes each partner to know themselves as an individual, know what their own love language is and communicate said to thier partners.
Here’s how to know your own love language. It’s simple. Whatever you like doing for your partner, whatever you do effortlessly for them. That’s your own love language and here is where it also gets a little bit complicated.
Because you enjoy doing those things does not mean your partner enjoys same. I have met women who say, they don’t even like sex that much. You can make that person orgasm 10 times in a day because you like sex, it wouldn’t mean as much to her as just that one time she asks you to help her do the dishes and you didn’t because to you it didn’t mean anything, it’s just dishes.
So whatever you like doing or whatever your partner likes doing for you, even if you don’t appreciate it. That might be their own love language. It takes a bit of practice and communication to get it right. When you do, just commit to doing those things for them, even when its too stressful or you’re not in the mood to do them and all that.
And gift giving is not just by iPhone. Something as simple as buying socks in their favourite color or buying a cleaning product in their favourite scent can mean a lot to some people. Just find the sweet spot of what works for them, sometimes that’s all you need to find, not the G-spot.
Also bear in mind that they are different from you. One partner likes recieving gifts and the other likes quality time. The one who likes quality time must commit to gifting and the other who like recieving gifts must commit to spending quality time with their partners.
Love is a commitment, it is giving ourselves up in service of others which means in love, what matters is what the other person wants. Couples who can find the balance between doing what the other person wants without growing resentful of having to give up what they want are usually the happiest ones. Its all about finding that balance.
Making the sacrifices and having sacrifice made for you. Compromising sometimes and having your partner comprise for you on others. That’s what is hard to do. Giving enough and receiving enough even when those things upset eachother. It’s a lot of work. But for those who put the work in. They’ll receive the goods of it.
Also some people are jealous. If you express their love language to another person, or allow another express their love language to you. Na wahala you dey find.
A partner who likes physical intimacy, if they catch you cheating. Na die be that. Or a partner that like quality time, if they find you spending your time with someone else. Problem!
It’s about factoring in, all these components to build one solid relationship.
I wish you all the best as you try, but please understand your partners are humans who are not perfect. They’ll make mistakes. Correct them with love.
The day i stopped stealing was the day i stole my mum’s money and she gave me more. You’d think that means she’s encouraging me. But no. She corrected me in love and i knew whatever I needed, i could ask her for it. When she doesn’t have. I understand.
This is getting long.
All the best. Stay in love and stay married. It is an accomplishment for yourself and the society.