I stepped up and supported her through the pregnancy, I was the one who picked out his name even. When he was born all my paternal instincts just turned on like a faucet. He looked EXACTLY like my baby pictures. I just knew in my heart he had to be mine. It was the happiest I had ever felt.
I held him and he reached up and grabbed my pinky finger with his little hand. His first action in this world was reaching for me and I just lost it. I was bawling and I knew without a doubt he was mine and I would die for him without a second thought.
9 months later I decided to put my mind at ease and do a DNA test. It was just to confirm what I already knew, that I was his dad.
I was sitting in my Senior engineering class when I got the email for the results on my phone. Excited to get my confirmation I open it right away. The results showed there was 0% I was the father. I just walked out and sat in my car and cried, I was devastated.
Apparently the mom had tricked me. The other guy’s timing wasn’t off and that one guy’s doctor telling him he couldn’t have kids was a lie. She just thought I was the best option and thought she could get me attached to the kid before I discovered he wasn’t mine.
I still loved the kid but the anger and bile I felt towards the mom was crippling. I just couldn’t forgive her. I had to say goodbye to them both.
It’s confusing because I can look back on that moment and recognize it was the happiest I had ever felt. But just thinking about it causes me immense pain. Even now 5 years later I’m having to wipe away tears as I write this.