The girl I had been dating for many years got pregnant; my happiest memory, she confessed to me she had sex with two other guys without protection; my most painful day at the same time.
She had always been on the pill but ran out and was irresponsible about getting it refilled. She did not tell any of us three, and so all of a sudden there were three contenders for the kid’s father.
Based on the timing one of the guys was very unlikely to be the father. And my girl told me that the other guy’s doctor told him he was not capable of having kids due to some issue.
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I stepped up and supported her through the pregnancy, I was the one who picked out his name even. When he was born all my paternal instincts just turned on like a faucet. He looked EXACTLY like my baby pictures. I just knew in my heart he had to be mine. It was the happiest I had ever felt.
I held him and he reached up and grabbed my pinky finger with his little hand. His first action in this world was reaching for me and I just lost it. I was bawling and I knew without a doubt he was mine and I would die for him without a second thought.
9 months later I decided to put my mind at ease and do a DNA test. It was just to confirm what I already knew, that I was his dad.
I was sitting in my Senior engineering class when I got the email for the results on my phone. Excited to get my confirmation I open it right away. The results showed there was 0% I was the father. I just walked out and sat in my car and cried, I was devastated.
Apparently the mom had tricked me. The other guy’s timing wasn’t off and that one guy’s doctor telling him he couldn’t have kids was a lie. She just thought I was the best option and thought she could get me attached to the kid before I discovered he wasn’t mine.
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I still loved the kid but the anger and bile I felt towards the mom was crippling. I just couldn’t forgive her. I had to say goodbye to them both.
It’s confusing because I can look back on that moment and recognize it was the happiest I had ever felt. But just thinking about it causes me immense pain. Even now 5 years later I’m having to wipe away tears as I write this.