My friends with benefits relationships started in different ways, but they all share a few core things.
- No expectation of the relationship evolving into something more. I actually made sure that all the women I had such relationships with understood this very clearly before the relationship went on.
- You and the other person ‘click’ sexually. Lets face it. The only reason for a FWB relationship is to have sex with no other relationship obligations.
Why did I have such relationships? Well, some just happened, but there was a stage in my life that I made a decision never, ever to marry. I am also not the type of person to start a romantic relationships with people if I know there is no future. So, with my plan never to get married I had 3 options if I wanted to have sex.
- Make use of sex-workers
- One night stands
- Friends with benefits
Somehow, the thought of paying someone to have sex with me does not appeal to me. She is there because she want to get paid, not because I can offer her physical pleasure. It’s like playing tennis against the wall. Sure, it will keep your eye in, but you’ll never have the satisfaction of winning a match.
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One night stands, well, here I have had many, but they are not so great. Sure, there is the occasional mind blowing one, but a large percentage of them are awkward and dodgy. Plus they happen mostly when you least expect them. Try going out on a night with the intention of leaving with someone and chances are good you will leave alone. And like I said, the quality of the sex is normally not the best.
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS
Friends with benefits is the best way to go if you enjoy sex, but don’t want the additional baggage or expectation. I know some ladies will say, “don’t give him all the benefits of sex without any of the responsibilities”. All my FWB partners enjoyed themselves and they knew there were no possibility for a romantic relationship. In fact, in some of my FWB relationships it was the woman who said ‘remember, this is sex only’.
How did my relationships start?
- A neighbor. She accompanied me and my friends to a club. We got drunk and had sex. Both of us recently came out of long term relationships and weren’t ready to start a new one, but we enjoyed the sex, so we did it frequently.
- An ex-girlfriend. In our relationship we had great, great sex, but the rest of our relationship was a disaster. When we finally broke up we had sex only for almost two years.
- I was visiting a female friend. We had been friends for a long time. That night she said “I am horny”. I helped her out, we both enjoyed it a lot and kept on having sex.
- I pretended to be the boyfriend of a female friend one evening so that a guy would leave her alone and we just got too into our pretend play and ended up having sex. A week or so later we had sex again, because we enjoyed the first time and so we decided to carry on without taking it to relationship status.
- A game of truth or dare got out of hand with a female friend/co-worker. Again, the sex was awesome and we just decided to carry on doing it.
Like I said, I remember all these relationships fondly. There is less pressure in the bedroom. I found it easier to express a fantasy I would like to indulge in than I found expressing to a girlfriend. We were open to trying new things. Even the women told me about fantasies they had and I indulged in those fantasies. It rarely happens with a girlfriend/ spouse.
I suppose if your friends with benefits partner thinks your a freak they can just end the relationship or say ‘no’. If you express a fantasy to a girlfriend or your wife and they think you are a sicko, then it may hurt your relationship. Sure, your wife can and will say ‘no’, but it will be out there, in her memory.
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A friends with benefits thing can be very satisfying.
As for me, I was still determined never to get married when I met the most beautiful, wonderful woman and within a year I was married. That was 15 years ago. I am still as in love with my beautiful wife as I was when I met her.