They say, when you bounce a ball against a wall, it comes back to you. I got served a dose of my medicine. Karma hit me back real hard.
A couple years ago, a girl I knew pretty well admitted to me that he had a crush on me. More or less, she was really into me and wanted to get into a relationship.
I had no idea but I felt incredibly guilty and I felt like I couldn’t tell her no. I knew that I didn’t like her back, but I also felt horrible saying “I know I don’t like you and never will.” So I told her “I don’t know, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up because x and y”.
She accepted it, and after that happened, we continued to hang out and I assumed that she was okay with it because, well, she was initiating it and we got along really well.
I didn’t realize that you can’t get over someone you see constantly.
I didn’t realize that the “I don’t know” I gave her was something she clung onto, desperately, hoping I’d change my answer one day.
I didn’t know any of these things until the exact same thing happened to me a year later.
I met a girl, got infatuated, admitted my feelings, and that familiar response which I gave that girl was now being delivered to me, in that same exact tone, with those same exact sad eyes which said “I can’t say no to you, I don’t want to hurt you, but I will never like you”.
And because I had been the one who delivered that line a year prior, I knew that “I don’t know” meant “no”, but it hurt nonetheless. I still thought it could be different this time.
So karma hit me back real hard.
And I do think I deserved that heartbreak.
Because if you reject someone whom you respect, whom you actually like as a person, it has also become part of your responsibility to make the other person feel comfortable and be able to move on.
Because it might simply be too hard for the other person. Because in the moment, all they want is to see you and make you change your already made-up mind.
So please, reject someone. Do not say “I don’t know” if you do.
And do not lead them on after.
I have learned my mistake.
1 Getting Friend-zoned Is Not A Rejection
2 My Friends With Benefits Relationships
3 Friendship Is What Brings Richness To Life
4 Becoming Friends After A Breakup – Option or Solution?
5 What Does A Girl Really Want In A Guy?