Last year this guy (well call him Hugo) who lives in Nigeria was talking to his aunt about how he wanted to find a good girl, someone who he can grow with and build something meaningful. She knew my family and said that she knew a girl (me) and that she would contact my mom.
A couple months later my mom told me about Hugo and that he wanted to chat with me. I said no initially as I was dating someone at the time. My boyfriend at the time was negligent and very toxic for me.
He made fun of me, would ridicule me when I would beg him to call me, would make comments on my friends calling them attractive when seeing their pictures with me.
After some time I thought about it and said “why not? Maybe he can be a friend”. I got his information and found his social media and I didn’t like the pictures.
Hugo messaged me and I also was not impressed. I was apprehensive because I didn’t want to do anything that one would consider “cheating” even though the relationship I was in was so dead.
Then he asked me to video chat and I agreed. And he was wayyyyy different. Turns out his pictures on social media were almost 5 years old. He’s taller, he’s grown into his features, and has a sweet smile…
Overtime, would talked more and more and I found him respectful, kind, reserved, and very sweet. On Valentine’s Day i told my boyfriend I just wanted a letter that told him how he felt about me…I got nothing. Hugo surprised me by sending me flowers all the way from Nigeria.
That’s when I knew that I had to end things with my boyfriend. How can someone find a way to send me flowers from a developing nation and my actual boyfriend couldn’t even write me a letter.
I ended things with my ex and slowly but surely started falling for Hugo.
Overtime we were talking so much and realized that we should meet in person to see if this is the real deal. Because it is hard for Nigerians to get a US visa we decided that once I graduated medical school I would fly to meet him,
The months passed and I finally found myself on the 26 hour journey to meet him.
The day came and my aunt went to go pick him up as he drove 2+ hours and they don’t have google maps to her place so he couldn’t find where she lived.
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I remembered feeling so anxious I could throw up. Would he look good in person? Would we have chemistry? What if we don’t like each other?
I couldn’t even look him in the face when he showed up I was so scared.
But he was everything I wanted and more.
He’s my teddy bear. There were so many surprises on this trip and he seriously spoiled me. I’ve never had a man treat me as well as he does and his actions showed that he loves me.
Being with him I realize I took too many things for granted; going shopping with your partner, going out to eat with your partner, just sitting on the couch binge watching TV together. Now that I realize time is precious I don’t take anything for granted.
Since I’m starting residency I had to come home and it was so hard to leave him. I was literally hanging on to his T-shirt as he left. Ugly crying, sobbing, the whole 9 yards. I still had my fears because of the crappy relationships I was in in the past but my natural reaction shows me that my gut knows this man is something special.
Because of my schedule I won’t be able to see him until January and that breaks my heart.
But to finally be around him and experience him in real life was so worth it and a happy moment indeed.
Credit: Adanma Sunshine
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