A wise man once told me, cheating does not make you a bad husband so far as you don’t let it affect your family. Loving your wife has nothing to do with having sex with another woman.
I told him it didn’t make sense to me.
He said don’t worry. Life will teach you.
Life has not come around to that lesson for me yet. But one thing I have found out is that we give ourselves too much credit for how we’ll handle something we have never had to face. Cheating has more to do with character than love. And only those with the strongest characters can overcome their own bodies.
The fight against yourself is the toughest you’ll ever take part in. The decision making process (not a mistake) to be with another woman while married is a fight against oneself. The only men who have turned up victorious in that fight are either the men who weren’t faced with enough temptations or who have mastered self discipline.
Just like the decision to cheat has nothing to do with your wife or how much you love her, the decision not to is the same. You don’t not cheat because you love someone.
You don’t because you have mastered the art of self denial. Simply loving and knowing you love your wife will not stop you the old man said.
That decision has to begin and end within you without any external factors involved and those external factors will always be negligible.
Whatever life decides to teach us, i hope it does before our actions become irreversible. When we can still make that change, learn that lesson and become better people for it.
Before you ask me if it’s the same for women. It is not! We are built different.
As the gate keepers of sex and life, they tend towards quality over quantity. One quality man is enough to keep a woman happy to satisfy her primordial instinct to procreate.
For men i have learnt is quantity over quality. Most men will cheat if they know they can get away with it. Most women will cheat if they are not satisfied with the one they are with. A man could leave a Bentley at home and still patronise a taxi. Women will not except taxi becomes the standard or the Bentley just can’t get her where she’s going.
However you interpret all these.
I hope you have learnt one thing at least.
That cheating for men has more to do with self discipline than it has to do with love.
Don’t expect any woman to agree with this. Don’t expect any married man to agree with it publicly too. In fact the more violently a married man (who’s not a pastor) protests this. The higher the chances that he’s cheating.
EDITORIAL POLICY: Permission to use quotations from this article, or entire article, is granted subject to full credit of source being given by referencing the direct link of the article on AFROSAGES.com