The thought of break-up in a relationship can really weigh on you, make you say the wrong things or make the wrong moves. Here is to doing RIGHT!
After you have successfully had clarity between whether to stay or whether to leave, whether you still love him or her or not; whether your love is enough to make you stay or leave, a break up should be painless and easy.
I am no expert in a relationship matter, but I have been in and out of relationships prior to my marriage to my sweetheart. I had made many mistakes and learnt a great deal of lessons. Take these 8 ways below as guiding principles and please don’t fuck things up!
Have your own Bank Accounts aside the Joint Ones!
I don’t care how wonderful your partner is, how much you trust him and how much you are a million percent sure you will never break up, you need to have your own money and your own bank account.
If you wish to create a joint account when you get married or for some other reason, don’t close down your personal account. Each week, put some money into that account for a rainy day. If that day never comes, you can buy yourself something gorgeous when you are 65. If a monsoon sets in, you’ll have something to keep you safe and warm.If you wish to create a joint account when you get married or for some other reason, don’t close down your personal account. Click To Tweet
There are most out there with “relationship or marriage goals” with putting all the money in one basket, Caution!!! You will thank me later for this advice of having a personal account.
Attend Post Marriage or Relationship Counselling
Even if you know that the words of a professional counsellor will not result the impasse you have with him or her, I will employ you to still go to that post relationship or marriage counselling. This is therapeutic.
After a couple of sittings and deliberations that may be getting nowhere, you can explain in front of a professional witness that you want to call it quits. The therapist or counsellor can help you both with effective exit strategies.
Don’t Rush the Process – Take Logical Steps
If you don’t have a therapist or a post relationship or marriage counsellor, remember that telling your partner you want to leave won’t be what they are expecting to hear.
Once you utter the words, “I want to end this relationship,” your partner will probably go into shock. She and most especially the He will feel angry, betrayed, upset, and hurt, and nothing you will say after that will sink in. Leave your partner to cool off before attempting to discuss the logistics and next steps.
Take Ownership and Communicate Responsibility
Break up lines like, “You make me feel…” and “You treat me like…” are liable to ignite a heated confrontation.
The best way to express how you are feeling is to refer to your own emotional experiences. No one can argue with you when you say, “I am no longer in love with you…” or “I no longer feel happy and fulfilled in this relationship…”Break up lines like, “You make me feel…” and “You treat me like…” are liable to ignite a heated confrontation. Click To Tweet
Take notes of these sentiments to avoid the blame games. Take ownership and be responsible for your decisions, besides you are an adult and know what is good for you and your future.
Be Clear in your Mind who is Moving Out!
It is easier to move out yourself than convincing your partner to leave. Have somewhere to stay lined up before you announce you are leaving — even if it is only a temporary arrangement while you look for a new house or apartment.
If circumstances mean your partner has to move out, it is better to be away while he or she packs up and goes. Arranging to go out of town during this time will lessen the potential for conflict.
If you have to be the one to leave, I will suggest you move to a different area. Don’t give your ex-partner your new address or invite him into your new home — if you need to speak with him after you’ve broken up, go to a public place.
Ignore Accusations, Taunts and Insults
The end of a relationship seems to stir up the ugliest of human behaviour. If your partner is calling you names and accusing you of things you haven’t done, don’t try to defend yourself.
If he or she is continuously harassing you, put boundaries around the amount of contact you have. If your partner wants to see you as a bad person to justify the end of the relationship, you can’t stop them. Just roll with the punches.
Also read: Amazing Pick up Lines for Boys and Girls
Expect your Ex-Partner to be of the Best Behaviour
Once your partner has recovered from the initial shock of the break-up s/he will most probably turn into the most kind and loving person you have ever met. Either they want you back or they want you to regret leaving.
Don’t be fooled by this trick. If your partner has miraculously changed overnight, ask them to leave you alone for at least six months. If they come back at the end of that time still transformed, then you can decide what to do.If your partner has miraculously changed overnight, ask them to leave you alone for at least six months. If they come back at the end of that time still transformed, then you can decide what to do. Click To Tweet
Plan to Grieve
Losing a partner through a breakup is a loss no matter who does the leaving. You will feel heart-broken, confused, guilty and lonely. You will mourn the loss of your dreams and fantasies of the ideal life you had mapped out in your head.
None of these emotions mean you did the wrong thing, and going back won’t make everything better. Tackle one day at a time. Be kind to yourself. It will get better.
Be in control – YOLO(You Only Live Once)!!!
You no longer have to follow someone’s instructions or ask permission before making a decision. You can say no to anything and everything you don’t want to do.
You can also say yes to things you wouldn’t have done before. You are solely responsible for your own life now, so enjoy your independence. You might make a few mistakes along the way, but that’s all part of the fun.