I’ve been married for 45 years and as a past marriage counselor, I’ll be giving you 7 secrets to a long marriage because that is the most asked question when people come to me during counselling. Marriage is a life long journey and it has its ups and downs. Don’t be deceived, it isn’t always sweet and fine. Sour times will come and how you handle it determines how long your marriage will last.
7 SECRETS TO A LONG MARRIAGE
Some people say there are more important things. And I think, “okay, but nothing more fun.” Oh, and you might want to check with your spouse first before you curtail it.
Many people vow, “for better or worse.” And when the “for worse” part shows up they want to bail out. Yet, you only discover the “for better” part when you work through the “for worse” part.
Nothing destroys a marriage faster than unfaithfulness. Once trust is broken it can be nearly impossible to gain back. Better to remain faithful and continually build trust. And stick to more of number 1 with your spouse.
Sometimes you feel madly in love. Sometimes blah. And sometimes wonder, “Who the hell is this other person?” So do the romantic things you did when you felt madly in love. Soon you will again. Your brain won’t know.
Fight Fair –
You’re going to clash. Just nature. So learn to fight in love. Attack the problem not each other. Criticize the issues not one another. Work to restore not win. Then add in number 1 to make up.
Everyone screws up. So own it. Apologize. Fix the problem. Forgive and forget. Then move on. Believe me you’ll have plenty more in the future without digging up the bones from the past.
Marriage is meant to be fun. Yet, so many act like they’re waiting on death row. Explore new adventures together. Laugh. Enjoy separate interests. Then celebrate each day you’re together.
And at the end of the day, when you go to bed, hold hands and whisper a thought of thanksgiving for your marriage. Oh, and maybe enjoy a little of number 1.
You’ll have a successful life-long marriage as you choose to everyday.
Credit: Counselor Doug