I will tell you reasons why you can’t be friends when the relationship is over. Often its due to a mismatch of expectations or feelings. I tried to stay friends with exes, especially since we had a lot of mutual friends, but ran into a few problems. A break up without having broken either one of the two people completely is far from true nowadays.
A relationship is NOT a friendship. That doesn’t mean that there cannot be a friendship in a relationship, but that friendship is secondary to the relationship. Always. Once you share intimacy with another person, there will always remain a residual tension between you two. Some people suppress that tension, but no matter where you are and what you do, that hidden 1% in the back of your brain is always contemplating about you two on a meta level.
10 Reasons Why You Can’t Be Friends When The Relationship Is Over
1. It’s Torture
You’re hanging out “as friends.” He does something that makes you smile. You suddenly want to kiss him — but can’t. Why would you put yourself through that?!
2. False Hope
Admit it, it’s there. And if it’s not there for you, it probably is for your ex.
3. You Can’t Undo The Past
In most cases. If you’ve seen each other naked, you’ll have always seen each other naked. Note: Most platonic pals of opposite genders have not seen each other naked.
4. You Don’t Honestly Want Them To Be With Someone Else
There’s a conflict of interest in your new “buddy-buddy” relationship, as you don’t want your ex to start dating again. Here’s the catch: Real friends want each other to be happy.
5.You can’t talk about your personal lives without it getting awkward.
Again, real friends talk about their personal lives with each other.
6. Do You Want To Go To Her Wedding?
No? Then you’re not going to make a very good friend, are you?
7. It’s Awkward For Your Mutual Friends.
They know you dated. They remember the PDA. And now they have to figure out how to treat the two of you when you show up to a party together-but-not-together.
8. The Mixed Signals
There are too many nicknames, inside jokes and memories to start fresh, so you’re likely to fall into old dating patterns even when not romantically involved. It can be confusing for one or both of you.
9.The Odds Of Finding True Love Are Slim If You’re Still Hanging Out With Your Ex
What new guy/gal wants to hang out with your ex every weekend?
10.It’s Not Healthy
You’ve had your heart broken. Why not invest your time and energy in the people who make you happy, not the ones who’ve hurt you deeply? (And if you broke up because of betrayal, character issues, hurtful comments or incompatible values, why are you choosing to spend time with someone you’ve already learned isn’t good for you?)
You have broken up for a reason. You need space to move on and that won’t happen if you seem every day. In my experience it is way easier to forget about someone when you don’t have to see them often.
It’s hard and it is true that if two exes are friends, in most of the cases either one of them never stopped loving the other, which is just sad and hurtful.